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Some Random thoughts

So after a really long day's nite ,I was browsing through my laptop & was so bored with everything that was wondering the hell to do .Suddenly, my eyes fell on the folder with the college pictures & I opened it instantly .After that, like a conqueror who's out to capture everything-there I was, with a smile on my face, slowly going through the pics one after the other ,reliving the times again with each pic & well,laughing on seeing the different kind of weird expressions on peoples' faces there in the photos..
Saw the folder with Utkarsh pics & saw how happy everyone looked there. People dancing their way to glory .All looked so happy that I felt like going back to those wonderful times.Well, where is this post headed ?? As such in no particular direction, just felt like jotting down what's going through my mind these days.

You know ,sometimes I ask myself that don't I have a better life now than I had in college ??? & the answer I get is- Certainly I have a much better life .In fact, a much, much better life .At least there are no powercuts ,no water problem , no tension of having to go through all those crappy books which used to bore me to death .Hitting the discotheque with a gal on every other weekend & catching the lastest releases on friday with friends. All in all a life which may be termed as fairly good if not very great .
But ask me , am I really happy ?? Hmmm...Well ,not really !! In fact ,all these things sometime seem very small in front of the kind of life we lived in college. Not that I dont have a group here .I do have a group & we dont miss to have our own bakar sessions & masti even here but there's something which I miss -that sense of closeness ,a real liking which we had for each other, an intangible feeling which can only be felt & my words wont be able to do justice to them.
Take a look at how I spend my days.
Being among the last ones to come to office at around 10:30 (& sometimes even 11) & the first ones to go back home at 6:00 most of the days (Hahaha!!)I don't get to even interact with my flatmates as they are really, really very sincere like Mr Ankit Gandhi & they leave for the office even before I wake up & come back at 9:30 in the night .So I just have nobody . Just for passing some time I go to the gym evryday & after 10 pm just listen to or play music till 1 or 2 in the night..
Imagine the kind of frustration u get when u dont have anybody with whom you can share your feelings or for that matter anything under the sun which you feel like sharing & worse is the frustration when you have people but you dont want to share your feelings with them bcoz you know they wont understand you & worse still when you get people in the company who are just bothered about their work & dont have anything else to share apart from the usual dud moronish company & project talk.
Hell!! why am I writing all this here ?? Dont know, just wanted to share it .Dat's it!
Had I not had Stockmarket , gym, TT & above all my salvation ,music with me I dont know what would I have done.It would have been a fuckin' boring life!! God knows what a hell life would have become .
Life , well what is life, tell me, what is life ??? 'Coz I have forgotton what really life is!! I am living a life where there are just memories of the past & dreams for the future but where there there's no present .Seriously, I ve become very much philsophical these days ,talking to myself most of the times .Maybe I am going through a very deep soul-searching phase .. So just wanted to let you know the mental status your beloved Mannubhai is .
I know after reading this you would say that I didnt make much sense but maybe I'd make a lil more sense when you'll be a little lonely then you'll realize that "loneliness bites" .That too very hard! Ooouch!!!!

On a more cheerful note,I hope you all guys are enjoying there & you would have met some gud people as gud as the people back in Jsr & hope your condition aint like mine..
For me, I guess i'll have to continue with this kind of life for sometime more!
Wish me luck!!
Cheers!!

Comments

Unknown said…
arey mannu bhai whenever you remember the ol' times just give us a call..
i think you need a vacation..
i'll let you know about the dates for the gangtok trip tomorrow..

some 'planning master gyan'
do constructive karma & njoy..
hakuna matata..
Unknown said…
mannu tune to bahut senti kar diya...m also not happy...
main bhi ek aisa hi post likhne wala honn then ul knw dat whts goin out on my side...
@Rathz ..Constructive Karma..hmm...dat's the best part of this phase .I think this as I am getting a lot of time for myself ..doing things which I always had wanted to do..So am using the time quite constructively.Let's c where things go !!

@Raj ..ya we want a post soon :-) ..mast likhne laga hai ab tu

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