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'Men say No'

This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women. 
More entries to the Blogathon can be read at Join further conversation on &
So, when I was invited to write on this topic, I had a lot of thoughts going criss cross in my mind. And, I almost started posting this on my own personal blog, then, it hit me, that why don't I post this HERE, and start a discussion, with who better than the men in my life! 

And my problem is that Delhi is helpless and I stay there!!
And it needs help, from the psychiatrists and Councilors. One part of the education budget should be kept aside for educating the men, old, young and even kiddos, to manage their anger and their Ego. And then there should also be a fund for tutoring the people of Delhi to have and to hone a sense of humanity. Numerous instances of shooting the girls in broad daylight, or picking them up from the delhi university campus, or the most famous case of Jessica Lall, where she became the target of a rage of an influential man!! 

What is it with men? They have in the past fought battles for their women. Be it Lord Ram, who went all the way to Lanka to get his lady love back, or be it the battle grounds of Kurukshetra wherein the Pandavas fought for the shame that was caused to their wife Panchali.And today, call me totally lame, but really, what kind of a sadist pleasure do they get from insulting the women.. especially in cases where it is often claimed that the boy was in love with the woman, and therefore, when that love is rejected by the girl for any reason whatsoever- she is either raped, or acid is thrown on her face so that she remains scarred for life or as per one of the incident that shook the city this year, shoot the girl. 
We all go on and on about our personal rights and as a matter of fact, talking legally we do have a fundamental right to live with all the dignity... then why is it that when it comes to being jilted or when you get a hard on for that matter, men can go to such an extreme level of anger and and end up raping  and killing the woman ???
Yes, there are some people who are mentally ill.. but then, looking at the statistics of the number of women getting raped- have most of the men lost all sense of treating the other gender with any any any any Respect, or dignity!!! 

Who is at fault?? Because if such a heinous crime is taking place at large in the society- then, there has to be someone at fault.. and there has to be a solution to this problem. And trust me, confining the women at home and telling them wear a burqua is no help.. because women in burqua have also been raped...!!!

Please help me understand, WHY in a country like India, where Goddesses are worshiped, are the women raped and treated like toys?? 
Take the recent event where two young teenaged boys Ruben and Keenan, tried to fight for the dignity of their female friends and in the end, what happened?? They got killed for what is right.
Is right and wrong only limited to the male gender... 
That when the man of the house says 'Get Up' the woman HAS to act like his puppet?? 
Ruben and Keenan incident, has really stirred up the conscience of many, but, unless the men at large don't put their foot down, and support not only their sisters and mothers, but also their wives.. *Somehow, when it comes to the wife, again the tag woman is thrown out of the window*.

It is not about being a feminist. Or that I am a girl and I am advocating this. It is about the fact that, a girl, is a human being too. She needs to be treated at least like a fellow human being and not like a sex object.

In a country, where on navratris and durga puja, the mighty power of the goddesses is worshiped, from the same pandal a woman is sedated and later raped. 
Why is India still a country of double standards?

Is it because, most of the country is uneducated?
Or Is it because, even the educated behave like illiterate!!

Think about it! 


Unknown said…
Let me try and answer one of your million questions, "Please help me understand, WHY in a country like India, where Goddesses are worshiped, are the women raped and treated like toys?" with a fact of life.

Have you ever noticed that the person whose ass we kiss the most is our boss. Ironically, the boss is also the person we cuss the most.

Anyway, one problem I find hard to live with is gender biasness. We ask the men to empathize with the women. We ask of them to be kind, chivalrous and respectful towards the opposite sex. What baffles me is why don't we just ask everyone to show empathy towards every fellow human being? Why does empathy need to be gender-biased? Why do we have Blogathons to ask men not to rape women? Why don't we have Blogathons to educate people how to be a better human being and be a gem for the humanity?

Is expecting a human being to empathize with the other a more difficult task than asking a man not to rape a woman?
Sakshi said…
So, you mean to say that, if you empathize with the opposite sex, you are not being a human being?
Or forget the eve teasing, if you just walk off if you see an old couple in trouble, you are being more sensitive than others..??

The thing about our society is, that we have been living in a patriarchal society where the roles have been divided.. and every time a man stands up for his woman, he is told that he is going against his family even when the woman is right..!!
We live in a society with double standards! And that you ought to accept!

Raping a woman or misbehaving with her is also a part of the whole being a good human being bit!
Unknown said…
Okay, let me rephrase. I hope you remember your Mathematics -

Let us say, being good to all humanity -> Set A
and, being good to women -> Set B

Now, isn't Set B a sub-set of Set A?

My pain point is we have started to pay more attention to Set B, than Set A. And I am not in much favor of it.
shastha said…
I agree with Shayon ... You may notice that most people who treat women bad are generally who dont treat others well either... Just that such men find it easy to impose their rudenesss or ignorance on women rather than men. I sometimes feel the root cause of most these problems lie in 2 things. Firstly, being in a position to understand the problems wat the other person might have to endure because of ones act and secondly, not let the ego come into picture (at times we notice that poeple do understand the problem, but thier ego prevents them from acting sesnsibly).
Yes, Shayon is right. Talking from a Freudian perspective, I think that the problem lies with the value system imparted at home which eventually builds up our psyche. We may not agree with our parents on most of the things but we subconsciously imbibe their behavior and when the family doesn't impart the right values during growing up,we get individuals who just don't realize what is right or wrong, because they don't have any such voice inside them. I like Sashta's first point. That's what the entire problem is. How reprehensible is to derive pleasure from raping a poor soul who is crying in agony. What I want to research on a bit is that in how many rape cases is the rapist dangerously inebriated? Because excess alcohol can surely make a person lose his conscience but surely if someone does it without drinking, he's really mentally sick
Sakshi said…
Inebriated, and all that you are saying is fine.. raping a young sexy looking woman okay fine, but what about the rape cases where father's rape their own daughters, or elderly women being raped.. raping those kind of women/girls- Explain that!

And, seriously, most of the criminal offenders are regulars or first timers. Either ways, I feel that they are mind fucked.
Unknown said…
Yes agree with Shayon. It all comes down to the basic question 'can you be good to your fellow human being'?

If the crime rate in Delhi as compared to other cities is bad then something surely is wrong in the local social fabric. But what is that?

May be harsher and speedy trails of all such cases will deter the bad folks from doing the wrong deeds as a first step.

There are very few cracks as well who would do harm to people anyway so we need to stand up and stop them when we can.

Also, bad motives forming inside a human mind is not related to literacy. I think that is a wrong categorization.
raj alakshendra said…
i have the same feeling of shayon ...

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