I was re-writing my resumé the other day when I felt that it'd be much better if I could get a few samples to work upon. I did googled for other people's resumés but to no avail. Then suddenly the idea of searching for resumés on LimeWire (a p2p client) struck me. Well, it wasn't really a bad idea as I happened to figure out a hell lot of curriculum vitaes. However, my find of the day was a word document that happened to contain the resumé of, no other than, Jesus Christ himself. I was kind of amused, the way it was put up, and couldn't help myself from sharing it with you.
The Resumé of Jesus Christ
Address: Ephesians 1:20Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.
Qualifications - I founded the earth and established the heavens (See Proverbs 3:19).
- I formed man from the dust of the ground (See Genesis 2:7).
- I breathed into man the breath of life (See Genesis 2:7).
- I redeemed man from the curse of the law (See Galatians 3:13).
- The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me,(See Galatians 3:14).
Occupational Background
- I've only had one employer (See Luke 2:49).
- I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
- My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me (See Matthew 3:15-17).
Skills / Work Experiences
- Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting liberty to them that are bruised (See Luke 4:18).
- I am a Wonderful Counselor (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil (See Proverbs 1:33).
- Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins (See I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
- I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding (See Proverbs 2:6).
- In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (See Colossians 2:3).
- My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path (See Psalms 119:105).
- I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart (See Psalms 44:21).
Major Accomplishments
- I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times (See Genesis 1:26).
- I laid down my life so that you may live (See II Corinthians 5:15).
- I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly (See Colossians 2:15).
- I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
- There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
References
- Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.
In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths (See Proverbs 3:5-6) and lead you into everlasting life (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence (See Hebrews 3:15).
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