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Road to becoming an UNCLE

My dear friends, this is my 1st post and hopefully not the last . I am really sorry that I couldn’t put this post on time due to my lack of knowledge in blogging. U must be laughing that a guy working in software doesn’t know how to blog? But that’s me who knows only how to do time pass in office.

Mr. Raj Alexzander has been persuading me for quite sometime now to put on a post regarding my marriage which I hope you all are aware of. But trust me I tried my level best to live upto the expectation. I also requested Raj to put the post on my behalf and I would have approved it. Even I asked him if it was ok if I give him the typed matter and he would post it. But this fella rejected all my suggestions and finally I am bound to do it on my own L

Ours is a Love, Arranged, Combined & even better keep it as a Complicated marriage as I call it. Also there is no particular order of which happened 1st eg: love followed by arranged or arranged followed by love. I leave this decision entirely on you folks as Im very much confused myself.

The story dates back to 30th September 2008. I had a terrible break up as some of you must be knowing. Following which my relatives were bound to get me married. Since there was single at that time so they were very glad to chose someone of their choice. They went to such an extent that they didn’t even bother to ask me of my requirements, the type of gal I want, etc etc…. they were happily seeing some girls without my knowledge. It’s not that they wouldn’t have asked my decision at the end. But the whole episode of doing things without my knowledge really pissed me off. Luckily one of my cousin sisters leaked out the info to me.That time I really missed my mom the most. Had she been there maybe no one would have tried such things. The worst part was they wanted some good 4-5 yrs age difference between us which Im dead against of. I would prefer someone of my age or at the most 2 yrs. How can I be friend with a gal who is some 5 damn years younger to me.

So I decided enough of this shit and I need to find someone for myself. One day I mustered up courage and told my relatives that they never bothered to keep me informed so I would look for my soulmate in these marriage portals. They were surprised a bit but they accepted as they thought how can I find someone online and that too before them J. But say it destiny or luck, I succeeded in my mission. She had sent me a proposal and I accepted it but there was no way we could communicate since we both were unpaid members. These portals are also very clever they don’t allow you to communicate any further unless U pay them. So there was just 2 options left before me
Forget her since I cannot contact her
Pay the portal some money so that I could view her phone no, mail id, etc...
But I had another option up my sleeve, “ORKUT”. Hail Orkut Devta. I searched her in orkut and yes I found her. There was no limits to my rather our joy and how we dodged the marriage portal. Even then I should thank it coz at least it introduced us and Orkut in uniting us J

So far its arranged I guess If im not wrong. From her side it was completely arranged coz her profile was created by her parents. We started speaking over the phone and my discarded RIM came back to life once again after a hibernation of 6 months. Very soon we became very close to each other and I had already revealed my past to her. She was a bit hesitant in the beginning but she liked my honesty and my courage that I had the guts to handle all these on my own. I had already decided after a few conversations over the phone that yes this is the girl that I was looking for even though I never saw her or met her. I fell for her inner beauty as I always believe that external beauty fades away with time but it’s the inner beauty that rejuvenates with passing time. She is the person who can look after my falling apart family after my mom’s demise. I could share every thing with her be it bad or good. 2008 was a year of great loss 1st mom and then the breakup. So 2009 started on a positive note.

But the real drama is yet to begin. I revealed her to my family and they were awestruck. Im not very open to my dad so couldn’t tell him directly. So I had to take the help of my relatives. But the matter worsened only after that. They were completely against it as they felt that someone might be trying to fool me online. They were not ready to accept the fact that I have selected someone. In India there is a huge problem of caste and religion. But I realized that no matter what you do to please your family they will never accept it directly and trust me she is from the same caste and religion.

I met her for the 1st time during pujas of 2009 ie.6 months after we started talking. After meeting her I was dead sure that if I marry I would marry her only and re confirmed my stand on her to my family. Then my dad also pitched in the revolt. In short I was the only one and she behind me fighting against my entire family. Only I know what I have been through these 2 yrs trying to balance both sides and taking the blows on myself. She also wanted to have some settlement soon which is understandable, need to keep my dad happy also and in between I was the sufferer. At times I though of putting an end to all these but trust me more than me its was her determination that finally brought us where we are today. I was falling apart in all these arguments, fights allegations, etc etc. but it was she who never lost hope and always gave me that encouragement to carry on. Maybe if my mom was there things could have been much simpler L . We had countless fights and all had some links somehow that we are unable to reach a settlement.

Finally on 24th Nov 2010 my dad agreed to give the green signal for 8th Feb 2011 after a heated argument and trust me many ice were broken between me and my dad because of this. Now we talk more freely than before J
My family still feels that its love from my side but I know it was arranged from my side. So its upto you people to decide what this marriage should be called, Love, Arranged or Complicated…..If you have any other name then please let me know J

I know I have left out many incidents and many points that could have been written but the post is getting too long and boring I guess. Will tell you once we meet if you are interested though J.

BTW I forgot to introduce her only.
Name - Nibedita Dutta.
Home town Balasore (Orissa)
Currently doin Msc (Maths)
Quit her DRDO job for Higher Studies (I was so happy that I need not earn anymore and quit my job with pride………damn she ruined my dreams)
Excellent cook and loves studies (surely opposite poles attract)
Hates everything that I consider as my quality or I like ….. After all its gals nature :-P. But I still LOVE her.

I will send out an official invite to all of You but hope to see you all on 8th Feb Kolkata, 13th Feb Dhuburi(Assam), 18th Feb Balasore & Hyderabad party TBD. Total of four receptions planned. Hope to see you people atleast in one of them if not more…………….


Abey Chaki,
Bahot mazza aaya tera post padh ke. It was literally like a hindi movie.
And the title of the post is hilarious,but apt. :-D
Heartiest Congratulations and wishes! Ab shaadi ke baad thoda load lena kam kar dena. Aur honeymoon ke liye kahaan ja rahe ho bey ?

@Raj and others
Abey Raj,woh tera "Kaun karega sabse pehle shaadi" contest ka kya hua ?
Guys, I think that we should sponsor at least the flight tickets for Chaki's Honeymoon.It'd be absolutely great! :)
ABC said…
Absolutely amazing..very happy for you..

ab to ek mahiney hii bachey hai uncle banney ke liye..haha..prep must be full on..

Tell us the honeymoon plans in adv, you are the deserving winner.. :))
shastha said…
Hi Chaki,
Feb 14th ko shadi kartey .. sahi date hota .. and Nov 14th childrens day bhi mana leta .. :P .. Congratulations .. As mannu said ek dum filmi story hai bhai
raj alakshendra said…
thank God u wrote the post ...

i have also opened my acc in wedding sites but i havent got any proposal yet :(
i hope i am lucky like u ..

btw i loved ur story .. shaadi ho to aise ... bina struggle ka kya maza ... i hope i some day i hav a similar story to say ...

btw all the best "uncle"

so where u want to go for honeymoon .... u r the surprise winner of the contest ....
Lol! Great observation regarding V-day and Children's day. This year's children's day is gonna be special for Chaki :)
Yeah, Chaki proved to be the proverbial "dark horse".
Sakshi said…
CONGRATS! Man, totally filmi huh? But I am glad that it worked out!!! :)

And since you are the surprise winner of the 'Contest'; do give us a heads up on where would you like to go! Else, don't be grumpy about the gift! ;)
Ankit said…
@Chaki: Congratulations dude!! remember that dark clouds cannot last forever, sunshine to aayegi hi. Wishin you best of luck for all your future endeavours.
Mainak said…
Thanks Junta for your wishes.
But none of you have answered my question. “Aisi shaadi ko kya kehte hain?”

Well im never worried bout the gift or anything for that matter. Its your esteem presence that’s more valuable than any gift.
If you are asking me that where I would like to go for my post marriage trip, then you would be surprised to know that no where as of now…… Its not that im a very unromantic type of a person just that I don’t have leaves from office and even Nibedita has her final semester project work. We are planning to go sometime after April I guess.
Regarding the location we had a big fight and finally we settled down to a no mans land……

I would have loved to go to a sea beach as water fascinates me. But she being born and brought up along the sea shore she is completely against going to coastal areas.
She wants to visit some hill station or rather snow capped areas. But since I have spent almost all the times in Shillong since birth, I hate to go to a hill station. Maybe even if I get a free trip to Switzerland I would deny.

So we are left with no choice of sea or mountain and go for desert. That’s why we would plan something for Rajasthan maybe. Sounds strange though but I guess we have no other option. At least one of us wont end up with complaints at the end. Either we both enjoy or we both suffer after the trip but its worth taking the risk since already we overcame so many challenges.

But it was strange from her rather from a woman’s part that she agreed to it……….. After all women are known to propose some idea and then when we are bout to execute it she would reject it…..
Mainak said…
Bhai shaadi ki dates we dont finalize..... after lots of calculations, astronomy, sun sign, moon sign, star sign, planet sign and dont know how many signs.... our great demi GOD Pundits give us date. So i cant decide the date.

Its looks spicy and interesting from outside but trust me you won't like it if you face such situation. I hope nobody goes through it what i have gone through since the past 2 yrs......
@ Mainak,
First off, Congratulations to you and Nibedita once again (at least we know her name now)!
Secondly, what you went through to get married is just callled a 'Love Marriage' in India- where most parties (except those getting married) are opposed to it!
I do hope you find peace and happiness in your married life. And I do hope your struggle to get there bears fruit (you've laid the roots, so keep fertilizing and watering it!).
And most of all, I hope she breaks your dirty habits! Ha ha ha ha ha- pulling hair in particular!

...@ish@... said…
Oh no...i missed shaadi ka khana and all the gossip damn !!!
still i am happy that you got,what you fought for and it feels damn me.i am goin thru it!!!

congratulations and i wish love increases days by months by years by decades by centuries...!!!!
samik said…
@Chaki congrates yaar.loved reading your advice from my side for a rock solid marriage-Throw away all your old stinking socks.I had been a victim of those on many occasions and they are stinky enough to make any healthy person slip into a coma.So plz...
Dinesh S said…

Congrats dude...will be there :)

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