The curtain rises!! LadieSSSSSSSSS & gentleman!! let me present before you some hell-raisers from Noida .Once in 2K3 batch of NIT,Jamshedpur these people are redefining the very words “Idioticity" & "Stupidity”.Every day they are unknowingly surpassing greater heights of moronity.This circus has four characters with a certain “Dawg” being their ringleader who inspires them(read provokes them) to achieve those lofty heights of stupidity .Although each one of these person deserves an introduction which would run for tens of minutes but let me do away with it in a a few sentences each
Meerut -A budding rockstar who’s just mad about music.For him music is js about rock & nothing else.He Shares the podium with Gandhi for being the most famous guy in 2k3.
Yakoo –Amit Srivastav-My recluse neighour in NIT, Jamshedpur whose always @ 90 degrees hair earned him the sobriquet of Yakoo from the Krur Singh of Chandrakanta.Has become my comedy partner here.
Dawg :That’s none other than ur dawg too ie “Me”.
John :Behera- "Bas Naam hi kaafi hai"
Let’s start with the ringleader ie the great dawg himself!!
Dawg was once sleeping soundly in his room. At 2 pm in the night, he suddenly felt suffocated in his room,was unable to breathe ,opened his eyes to find the entire room in flames .Wat the hell man!!It was filled with smoke & the belongings were up in fire & the fire had even caught his bedsheet .AND here comes the Reason of fire -A mosquito coil-yes a freakin' mosquito coil which dawg had lit on top a newspaper & the chain reaction led to the hysteria which later burnt a hole in his pocket.Dawg sleeps in a mosquitonet after that! No coils around dawg please.
Once,Dawg was halfway to his office on his bike when he realized that he doesn’t have his mobilephone in his pocket. He checked his pockets thoroughly & it was not there. He rechecked his trouser’s pockets just to confirm that that it wasn’t there.Then he returned to his flat in a hurry .After sometime just when he was about to open his apartment's door he realized something was there in his trouser’s pocket.That something turned out to be his mobile phone. Dawg felt like biting himself for his stupidity.
Scene :Dawg frantically searching for his glasses as he was getting late for his mock-CATs
Searched the bedroom, dining room even the kitchen but in vain! Woke up his flatmate in the other room to search for his specs .The "flatmate" rubbing sleep off his eyes pointed towards dawg's nose & dawg realised where the glasses ARE!!!
Let Dawg not hog the limelight,let others be given a chance to prove their greatness in stupidity .So here comes Meerut-famous for his great statements & even greater deeds .
Ignoring all warnings from his family to not purchase a costly drumset ,dude purchased a new drumset for 21 grands as he is very eager about forming a band. I asked that what would be the name of your band .In a contemplative mood he said ”See I want to form a band on the lines of S.O.A.D .I want to speak about the filthy Indian politics , casteism etc through my songs So I asked him what would be the name of your band.
After thinking for 5 mins the golden words were uttered “After thinking deeply I have come to the conclusion that the band's name would be Bhartiya Raajniti” .I said "what's that ?"
He said "it’s name of our to-be Rockband.acha hai naa ?"
The question below was asked to Meerut in college days but I again asked him to check if he has changed a bit & well u can decide after reading this IF he really has ??
Dawg : Why are there so many gays in western countries ?
Meerut in his usual style: ”Arrey western guys are so tall,goras, chikna .Sab bodybuilders hote hain toh aadmi ka aadmi so toh attraction NATURAL hi hai bhai“ >Oh my God!somethings dont change as do some people.
Here comes the greatest!!
Meerut wants to be a drummer & idiolises Las Ullrich( Metallica’s drummer).So here goes the provoker dawg
Dawg : If you were given an opportunity to meet Las Ullrich in exchange for a favor like +$%^ing HIS *&^% would you do that favor?
With his chin up & in a thoughtful voice “ I don’t want to do that but yes when it comes to Ullrich I WILL DEFINTELY give it a thought.After all I just have to do it once “ ;PPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Meerut scrapped dawg “Bhai ek testimonial likh de meri”
Dawg scrapped back “Sure ,when are your testicals free ? ;--PPPPPP "
Meerut scrapped back “ Yeh ;--PPPPPPP kya hai bhai..eska kya matlab hota hai?”
Phewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
Yakoo- Dawg’s great friend & an amazing comedian.One year into the IT industry & he is still struggling to operate a computer properly .
Once his manager came & said “Amit. Hurry up!! Gotta go for team lunch!! Lock your computer fast! “
Yakoo retorted :”Sure !! But where ?& I don’t have that place’s key “
Now comes the last character .This character is a real character in himself & incidentally he is also a 'Topfloorer" since he used to be Atri's neighbor.He spends around 60-70% of his money on ciggis & booze .Cant sleep without getting hungover.
John aka Prasant Kumar “Deaf”Behera.. Dude is working in Samsung & is in S. Korea for 6 months .Yes u heard it right in S. Korea!! I was once talking to him on fone i said "Korea to mast hoga bey " .
Behera said “tujhe kya pata yahaan kay baare main.. here the system is so hi-fi. even the trains fly in the air.” I laughed & laughed & laughed
So this was it for today’s laughing session!!I hope u would have liked these four characters & also I’d like to tell u that there’s much more to these characters(in terms of stupidity) but we have to finish the show here but don’t worry we are gonna come back with an entire show on an even greater personality who happens to be the one amongst the wall mag bloggers.I hope u would have got the hint.If no, then watch out for the next show.Take care
&&&&&& The curtain comes down!!
-Mann
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