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Meerut,Yakoo,John & Dawg

The curtain rises!! LadieSSSSSSSSS & gentleman!! let me present before you some hell-raisers from Noida .Once in 2K3 batch of NIT,Jamshedpur these people are redefining the very words “Idioticity" & "Stupidity”.Every day they are unknowingly surpassing greater heights of moronity.This circus has four characters with a certain “Dawg” being their ringleader who inspires them(read provokes them) to achieve those lofty heights of stupidity .Although each one of these person deserves an introduction which would run for tens of minutes but let me do away with it in a a few sentences each
Meerut -A budding rockstar who’s just mad about music.For him music is js about rock & nothing else.He Shares the podium with Gandhi for being the most famous guy in 2k3.

Yakoo –Amit Srivastav-My recluse neighour in NIT, Jamshedpur whose always @ 90 degrees hair earned him the sobriquet of Yakoo from the Krur Singh of Chandrakanta.Has become my comedy partner here.

Dawg :That’s none other than ur dawg too ie “Me”.

John :Behera- "Bas Naam hi kaafi hai"

Let’s start with the ringleader ie the great dawg himself!!
Dawg was once sleeping soundly in his room. At 2 pm in the night, he suddenly felt suffocated in his room,was unable to breathe ,opened his eyes to find the entire room in flames .Wat the hell man!!It was filled with smoke & the belongings were up in fire & the fire had even caught his bedsheet .AND here comes the Reason of fire -A mosquito coil-yes a freakin' mosquito coil which dawg had lit on top a newspaper & the chain reaction led to the hysteria which later burnt a hole in his pocket.Dawg sleeps in a mosquitonet after that! No coils around dawg please.

Once,Dawg was halfway to his office on his bike when he realized that he doesn’t have his mobilephone in his pocket. He checked his pockets thoroughly & it was not there. He rechecked his trouser’s pockets just to confirm that that it wasn’t there.Then he returned to his flat in a hurry .After sometime just when he was about to open his apartment's door he realized something was there in his trouser’s pocket.That something turned out to be his mobile phone. Dawg felt like biting himself for his stupidity.

Scene :Dawg frantically searching for his glasses as he was getting late for his mock-CATs
Searched the bedroom, dining room even the kitchen but in vain! Woke up his flatmate in the other room to search for his specs .The "flatmate" rubbing sleep off his eyes pointed towards dawg's nose & dawg realised where the glasses ARE!!!

Let Dawg not hog the limelight,let others be given a chance to prove their greatness in stupidity .So here comes Meerut-famous for his great statements & even greater deeds .
Ignoring all warnings from his family to not purchase a costly drumset ,dude purchased a new drumset for 21 grands as he is very eager about forming a band. I asked that what would be the name of your band .In a contemplative mood he said ”See I want to form a band on the lines of S.O.A.D .I want to speak about the filthy Indian politics , casteism etc through my songs So I asked him what would be the name of your band.
After thinking for 5 mins the golden words were uttered “After thinking deeply I have come to the conclusion that the band's name would be Bhartiya Raajniti” .I said "what's that ?"
He said "it’s name of our to-be Rockband.acha hai naa ?"

The question below was asked to Meerut in college days but I again asked him to check if he has changed a bit & well u can decide after reading this IF he really has ??
Dawg : Why are there so many gays in western countries ?
Meerut in his usual style: ”Arrey western guys are so tall,goras, chikna .Sab bodybuilders hote hain toh aadmi ka aadmi so toh attraction NATURAL hi hai bhai“ >Oh my God!somethings dont change as do some people.
Here comes the greatest!!

Meerut wants to be a drummer & idiolises Las Ullrich( Metallica’s drummer).So here goes the provoker dawg
Dawg : If you were given an opportunity to meet Las Ullrich in exchange for a favor like +$%^ing HIS *&^% would you do that favor?
With his chin up & in a thoughtful voice “ I don’t want to do that but yes when it comes to Ullrich I WILL DEFINTELY give it a thought.After all I just have to do it once “ ;PPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Meerut scrapped dawg “Bhai ek testimonial likh de meri”
Dawg scrapped back “Sure ,when are your testicals free ? ;--PPPPPP "
Meerut scrapped back “ Yeh ;--PPPPPPP kya hai bhai..eska kya matlab hota hai?”
Phewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Yakoo- Dawg’s great friend & an amazing comedian.One year into the IT industry & he is still struggling to operate a computer properly .
Once his manager came & said “Amit. Hurry up!! Gotta go for team lunch!! Lock your computer fast! “
Yakoo retorted :”Sure !! But where ?& I don’t have that place’s key “

Now comes the last character .This character is a real character in himself & incidentally he is also a 'Topfloorer" since he used to be Atri's neighbor.He spends around 60-70% of his money on ciggis & booze .Cant sleep without getting hungover.
John aka Prasant Kumar “Deaf”Behera.. Dude is working in Samsung & is in S. Korea for 6 months .Yes u heard it right in S. Korea!! I was once talking to him on fone i said "Korea to mast hoga bey " .
Behera said “tujhe kya pata yahaan kay baare main.. here the system is so hi-fi. even the trains fly in the air.” I laughed & laughed & laughed

So this was it for today’s laughing session!!I hope u would have liked these four characters & also I’d like to tell u that there’s much more to these characters(in terms of stupidity) but we have to finish the show here but don’t worry we are gonna come back with an entire show on an even greater personality who happens to be the one amongst the wall mag bloggers.I hope u would have got the hint.If no, then watch out for the next show.Take care
&&&&&& The curtain comes down!!

-Mann

Comments

atri said…
Mann keep your CAT admit card properly, this time Samik can't help you.

You are really having a great fun dude....keep on sharing it....
raj alakshendra said…
g8 article man...
i am in office ... both of us read this n couldnt stop our laugh ... seriously maaza aa gaya ...

i am also having the same fire experience ... it took place in 2k1 the day after diwali n exactly same thing happened ... in my case the reason for fire was a candle...

out of all the situations the best was the mobile search ...
u r jus crazy n mad ...

i am surprised how u four manage ...

but u guys must be having great fun...
raj alakshendra said…
arre bokac***a ka comment ... finally he got time frm eating n drinking ...

welcome man...
Sakshi said…
I read the post before it was published.. and I was laughing my head off..!! You guys never cease to amaze me...!!!
@ mann
Major error- Its not 2 PM in the night its 2 AM.
@Atri
Great to c u bak man!!! At least my post finally jettisoned you into posting a precious comment!!
I hope they keep on coming now onwards

@Raj
Thanks man!! By the way all of us live at different places..
Ek ghar main rahenge toh waat lag jaayegi..
Btw,
Read the last few lines again & tell me on whom can be my next article :PP

@Saxi
Yes we must admit that we r a bunch of morons who can make people laugh no end..
Oh hell.. Shayon has warned us against using Saxi ..by mistake i wrote that :PPPPP
Dipayan said…
“ Yeh ;--PPPPPPP kya hai bhai..eska kya matlab hota hai?”


Man, I laughed so hard that my colleagues asked me what happened.....have I gone mad or not????
Gr8 post man....good to know that Meerut is still the numero uno ....
@ Mann,
I think I know who the next is even though I have two people in mind and I guess you mentioned him once or twice in the article.
And I thought Amit was the Dawg!
@ Boka,
Kemonacho dada?
Sakshi said…
@ Mann
Dude, whats in a name..!!! I dont mind... so just chill...
shanoob said…
Dawg was once sleeping soundly in his room. At 2 pm in the night, he suddenly felt suffocated in his room,was unable to bre....
shanoob said…
mast hain mannu bhaaai...
raj alakshendra said…
@ dion
hum kale hai to kya hua dilwale hai ...

the next article must be abt Gandhi ...

@mannu
il mail u the pic 2de ... i forgot yest...
Shayon said…
@ Mann
JMFC!!

I was almost gonna roll off mah chair, laughing! Too hilarious, man!

And yeah, even I agree with Raj, it's got to be Gandhi then (unless you are pointing the finger at me :-P)


@ Atri
Dude, did you tell anyone out here that you got your little foot operated?


@ Raj
Kya sahi dialog maara hai, be! Isse kehte hain chance pe dance karna ;-)


@ Dip
Dude! Those multiple P's are just an expression. It means the same as ":-P"


@ Dino
Who's the second guy you got in mind, man?


@ Saxi
Wish you a very happy birthday, yet again! :-)


@ Shanoob
What the fuck kind of a comment was that, man?
@All
Thanks guys for all ur comments.Am glad to see that I have been able to make u laugh
& wats gud is that Ari & Shanoob also commented.

But i havent got any reaction from one guy..Guess who -yups Gandhi.:P
I hope dude is shit scared that I m gonna castrate him in the next post.Dangs dont worry I wont do that without ur permission :-)

What's wrong with Shanoob man ??
God only knows what is he upto!

Guys Bomber aka Ravi Kiran oops! Ravi Kiran aka Bomber is also interested in joining The Wall Mag.
I wanted a "Thumbs Up" from you all .
raj alakshendra said…
abt shanoob , i can jus say he is a pshyco ...

well i thumbs up for bomber ...

@ mannu
hey wht abt the dec goa plans??
did u read my post in orkut ???
Ankit said…
arey cudnt post cuz i had gone to meerut (yes meerut!!) for sunday....and yes i drove all the way thru gzb and noida....1 km before my destination, car got into a pothole and wheel rim got deformed.....and clutch doveloped
some problem, silencer phat gaya....finally spent sunday getting them repaired, and have just rtnd now(again i myself drove) at 1 am....

dude...i must say...really hilarious post....but then due to all peer pressure which meerut is not able to cope with, i feel hes become somewhat reclusive....seco
ndly i feel he is just a waanbe rockstar cuz he wants to be "yo"..i wish i am wrong though..may be mann...u can help him...he trusts u
a lot, help him grow dude!!

then it`ll be better to laugh out with him than on him....

nywyz...lots of senti stuff!!

Some corrections:
1. 2 pm in the night??
2. prolly john was referring to levitation in a desi way.....wats wrong with that??


and i`ll feel honoured to be subject of ur post dude....take as many potshots as u want dude....will laugh out loud...go ahead!! only one suggestion, u always cook up ur concoctions, and add "mirch masala" and "tadka" to stories....please DO THAT...wanna LOL....

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